Friday, May 18, 2012

You Know Jesus.....?

If it's not one thing, it's something else.  Lately almost every single morning the phone has begun to ring....8:20 a.m.; 8:30 a.m.; and so on.  I have noticed the numbers are all unknown to me. And, again, more calls throughout the day, from all these 'unknown numbers.' Well, with a roommate or two, that is bound to happen, but even those numbers that my roomies are receiving calls from become somewhat familiar after a while. 

Not the case with these.

Here's the thing.

8:20 a.m. is not my best time of day.

I need coffee and some quiet time before I talk to people at 8:20 a.m. in the morning.  I think some of you know what I mean.  Come on, I'm retired. I earned the right! Done paid my dues!

I have answered one or two of these unknown callers, not realizing what they were. I recall my roommate mentioning something like, if I didn't recognize the number, don't answer.  Hey! I gotta's a lot of calls coming in from these 'unknown' numbers!  And I really don't want to turn my phone off at night. If my family called with something important,,,,well, you get my point.

So, I prayed about it.

And you know what? I think the Lord gave me a plan.  Sanctioned.  So I decided to implement it.

And now, I answer all the calls with these unknown numbers.  Turns out, by the way, they are the product of some 3rd party marketing with my poor roommate the victim, due to her having to fill out some forms online that likely were necessary to keep her unemployment $ coming in.  Lots of people without jobs right now, don't cha' know.

Anyway, now, I answer all the calls with these unknown numbers ----- uh, like this:


"Hello, I'm calling from  Is this...?"

"Oh, hello,  Uh, I have something to tell you.  You know Jesus?  Jesus?  You know, you know, the Lord?  Jesus?  Well, He told me to tell you not to call again."

"Uhh,,,,uhhh,,,,ok,,,,ok,,,,uhhhh,,,,,uhhh,,,ok,,,,I...uh...I'll make a note of that."


I gotta tell ya. I have noticed a significant decrease in the "unknown number" calls lately.

*S*M*I*L*E*  Thank You, Lord! 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Is There Any Other Toilet Paper In The House?

I live with two roommates, both of whom are great gals.  One of my roomies and I share a bathroom.  We have evolved to keeping a kitty for purchasing some of the essentials-in-common; e.g. paper products, including paper towels, and, of course, toilet paper.  Because I am a member at Costco, I usually pick up the toilet paper in those giant packs with 30 rolls or so, and because of my friend, Sandy, I am now a -- shall we say, fan -- of Charmin' Ultra.  I used to be the gal that just picked up pretty much whatever was on sale at the supermarket.  But Sandy, bless her heart, reframed me.  At Sandy's house the only TP in use in HER bathroom is Charmin' Ultra. I asked her one day about what she used, and she told me, "Only Charmin' Ultra." I asked why. Sandy said, "Because it's realllllly nice!"  She's right. It's nice.  Nice and soft and yea, just nice.  If this is beginning to sound like an ad for Charmin' Ultra, I have no excuse.  I began to buy Charmin' Ultra at Costco, and to date, almost, that be that. The roomies chip in to the kitty and off I go to make the purchase.  Maintaining that level of satisfaction, yes, we have been happy bathroom campers!

We were getting low on that necessary item recently, and I happened to mention I was going to pick some up soon and would be using the kitty to do so. (Oh, the kitty. Right. We each put in $10 a month. That pretty much covers our "essentials-in-common" as it were.) My roomie that I share the bathroom with said to me, "Oh, I have some in the car. I'll bring it in."  "Oh, ok," say I, and that would be that.  Or so I thought.

My roomie brought in the 'goods' in due time and put the rolls in the bathroom we share.  It was a Safeway brand.  Something 'Softly' I think it said.  In fact, I just checked (we have lots) and it says "Ultra Softly."  Ya think?

(And while I'm on the subject of "lots" - can someone tell my why every package of rolls of TP in the supermarket says things like "9 MEGA rolls = 24 REGULAR ROLLS!"  Does anybody KNOW where those packs of "regular rolls" are? Has anyone ever seen one?)

Anyway,,,,,,back to my story,,,,,I really had to VOW NOT to say anything about my reaction (uhhh literally) to this product replacement, not wishing to be unkind, and frivolous when it comes to my roomie's sensitivities I began to, uh, use, the new paper product available, I noticed something.  My impression regarding "Ultra Softly's" ultra-softliness went out the window along with a slightly, well, shall we say, this side of rude, remark that I really really really DID keep to myself ---- something along the lines of, "Good grief, this stuff is about one shade this side of using newspaper!"

So, I kept quiet.  Patting myself on the back for being a goooood roomie.

Until one day, oh,,,,did you see this coming,,,,,my roomie says to ME........

"Is There Any Other Toilet Paper In The House?"

I fell out laughing, high-fived her and was set free!  I was no longer able to contain myself, nor was I obligated by roomie protocol, to do so, and as I was cracking up,,,,,while I had to sadly tell her "No," and that we were confined to using up the rest of the Safeway "Ultra Softly" - unless, of course, we wished to donate the balance of the "9 MEGA rolls" to the church fellowship hall bathroom.

Which I will do Sunday.

And on the way home, I'll be stopping at Costco.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Sometimes all you need is new windshield wipers....

First of all, I want to extend my thanks to the Gresham Lions Club for my new glasses.

Whereas, with those old glasses I had, I began to notice I was have a difficult time driving at night - couldn't make out shapes very well, oh like parked cars,,,,and people (and I will tell how OLD they were -- the last time I had a prescription filled for glasses was when I was working and had vision insurance - and I retired in 1999.)  It had gotten to the point I had to quit driving at night, and frankly, for the last year, I had to miss my regular Sunday evening worship service at my church all that time.  I was on the Praise Team, and also in the choir, and the choir always sang Sunday evening, so I missed that too.  I did not like any of it one bit.

A friend suggested I contact the Lions Club.  I did.  Well, thanks to the Gresham Lions folks I am driving at night again. Yeayyyyyy !  And have rejoined the choir AND the praise team, and can regularly go to Sunday evening services.  This means a great deal to me.  Gresham Lions Club, I thank you!

After I received approval for my application, I was advised to go to the Mt. Hood Vision center for an exam and for my new glasses.  I just was to say the Mt. Hood Vision folks and Dr. Clay have been great, also.  The whole experience has been a joy and a huge benefit to my own personal quality of life.

The story below however, just goes to show all's well that ends well. 

As I began to test whether my new glasses were really helping me see better at night, I had capable friends ride along with me in my car to and from being the place that I am most likely to find myself going to at night, as it happens. I told my one friend that if it rained, let's just see 'how things go' as it might prove to be a difficulty for me.  It certainly had been so in the past year.  Well, wouldn't you know, living in Oregon, it rained the third time I drove at night.  I spoke to my friend as I began to travel back up the freeway to my exit -- "hmmmmm, I think maybe the next time it rains, you should drive, hon. I'm having a bit of difficulty seeing good."  My friend replied, "Marilyn, I think maybe you need new windshield wipers! These are just smearing the rain around."   I laughed and said, "Hmmmm, maybe that's why I've been wondering about the same thing lately." 

The very next day my friend and I were together again, running errands, and as we drove by Auto Zone, I decided to pulled in and pick up some windshield wipers.  My friend told me they would put them on for me.  Sounded like a good plan!  I shopped a bit, talked to the fellow there, and with his help, I bought some really good windshield wipers.  I told the fellow I needed good ones as I had trouble with my eyes, and he showed me this one set that was "all one piece," which he said made them better.  Convinced, I bought them and he came out and put them on my car.  It was a gloriously beautiful day, the sun was shining and the sky was patchy blue with fluffy clouds; HOWEVER, the minute we drove out of the driveway, and onto the main street, it began to rain GREAT BIG OL' RAIN DROPS! Whooopppeeee I got to turn on my BRAND NEW WINDSHIELD WIPERS no sooner than I had left the parking lot!! I laughed out loud, and said I guessed God wanted to prove to me I needed those darn old windshield wipers and that I should listen to my friends.  He also proved to me once more, He indeed has a sense of humor.  Especially as it resides in my daughter.  I related my "funny story" to her and she cracked up, saying, "Good grief, Mom, all this time you thought your eyes were bad, and all you needed was new windshield wipers."

There ya' go.  My Life!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

God Watches Out for His Kids....

....Even at the PDX Airport Arrivals zone !!'s the story.

My daughter and son-in-law were coming back from a trip, arriving at the airport at a certain time. Their car was garaged at the airport, so they planned to pick it up after they arrived. I had their daughter, my granddaughter, staying with me until they got back, and the other set of grandparents had their 22 mo. old baby grandson in their care until they got back. My daughter and son-in-law asked we, the two sets of grandparents, to bring the children to the airport and meet them at the Baggage Claim/Arrivals zone when they got in. Not a problem. I've done that little routine many, many times picking up friends and/or family who are coming in from a flight from somewhere.  There's the drive-around business,,,,,you try to arrive at "about" the time they will have already gotten to the baggage claim area and meet them outside after they've picked up their bags.  Likely you will miss them first time around, or 2nd, or more, but, sooner or later you will see them and whoooosh! get your car over into the far right lane and Voila! -- get your party picked up.  It's way easier than parking and going inside the bloody airport....and you....and everyone doing just that....driving around and around til your people show up on the sidewalk outside the baggage claim.

Of course, THIS little venture had a double whammy going for it -- due to the fact that we were transferring kids from Car #1 - namely "me and granddaughter" and from Car #2 - namely "other set of grandparents and that 22 mo. old baby grandson" - to their parents,,,,who would take them to Car #3.....because really, alllll they wanted to do at 7:30 pm was GO HOME with their family!  It had been five days they were away.

All this could have been a bit complicated.  Logistics.  It's all about the logistics.  Wikipedia defines "logistics" thusly: 'Logistics' is the management of the flow of resources, not only goods, between the point of origin and the point of destination in order to meet the requirements of customers or corporations. Logistics involves the integration of information,transportation, inventory, warehousing, material handling, packaging, and often, security."  And, certainly, I had thoughts along those lines.  "Resources:"  I guess you could call we grandparents "resources" who were involved in the management and flow of goods (we had the "goods" all right - two wonderful grandchildren) between the "point of origin:" Yep, baby grandson from the point of origin of one set of grandparents' house (while Mom and Dad were away), and teen granddaughter from the point of origin of the other grandparent's house. The idea being to manage the flow of those goods from the point of origin to the point of destination (the PDX Airport Arrivals Zone) in order to meet the requirements of the "customers:" who in this case are "Mom and Dad."  These "logisitics" involved the integration of information (that means lots of cel phone usage), transportation (that means Car 1 = one set of grandparents with baby grandson in tow; Car 2 = other grandparent with teen granddaughter in tow), inventory (that means keeping careful track of the "goods" in Car 1 and Car 2), and all the rest of it including warehousing, material handling, packaging, and yes, security.  LOGISTICS!

And then the puzzle. How do Car #1 and Car #2 meet up in this cuhrazy scenario with car after car after car lining up 4 to 5 rows deep across the lanes, and Lord only knows how many in a row/line coming up behind you.  How do we? 

Well, I hadn't counted on a couple of things.  And one of them, is how PERFECTLY things can go when GOD shows up.....and.....if you can suspend all disbelief and just.....BELIEVE.......God DOES have a sense of humor!

I pulled into the line near the 'Arrivals' doors for the airline my daughter and son-in-law were coming in on....and there they were, coming out of the doors. And I looked behind me, and immediately (did I say IMMEDIATELY? YES, I DID!) to my rear .... was Car #2 with the other set of grandparents with baby grandson in tow.  And about 25 to 30 cars behind them in the line.  I shook my head once, suspending my OWN disbelief, and my teen granddaughter, jumped out of the car, helped her Dad go get baby grandson, right behind me, and we all waved our love, and .........

That was That!

I laughed and shook my head all the way down the ramp and headed home.

Some Things Never Change !

.....or should I say some people never change

The other evening I had occasion to enjoy a time with a former roommate and good friend of mine and some friends of hers at a charity benefit banquet.  It was a delightful evening....but it had its moments.  Priceless moments, mind you, but moments, nevertheless.....  

Like this one.

I had to lift an eyebrow then furrow it - the other nite when my dear former roommate and some one else at our dinner table went "off" on some kind of "special water" they were drinking that "does everything." 

Miracle water.

Alkaline water.

Ionized water.

Kangen water.

So I researched it this a.m.

It's only $4,000 to get the gizmo that does the "ionizing."  [google kangen water - then add the word 'scam']

And it's an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing).

Oh brother.

Oh and by the way you can't put it in a plastic container cause it eats the plastic.



Of course my dear friend was drinking her very special "kangen water" out of her own personal plastic water bottle.  Oooooooops!

Wish I'd had my wits about me - I would have told them to make Bieler Broth.  Cheaper and it'll alkaline their systems all they need!I learned about Bieler Broth in the late 60's when my youngest daughter was about 6 yo.  You know, the stuff actually works.  If you're sick, make some Bieler Broth. What's it made with? Simple stuff. Green stuff. Green string beans. Zucchini. Parsley. Cook it in some nice water, season it a bit, and blend it up into a nice puree.  Bieler Broth!

"This simple soup restores alkalinity and mineral balance,,,,"


Oh that girl, my former roomie, and her MLM's!

Love that girl, nevertheless. Gotta say. (If you're reading this hon, really, I do. But I could not pass up the opportunity to blog it.)