Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Don't Look - Just Listen!

Just watched a commercial - or rather heard, more than watched - for Ambien CR.

In fact, probably, had I watched it, I would not have heard as clearly as I did....about all the "possible side effects." (Don't you wonder about all those side effects sometimes, anyway? The ones they print in that really tiny print you can't read without a magnifying glass. Or say so fast on the TV you can't possibly catch it all. Uh-huh. I do.)

Well, this time they really got into it...I heard: "You might have abnormal behaviors such as being more outgoing or more aggressive than normal, also confusion, agitation and hallucinations may occur." (Do you suppose that's why they put the rooster in the commercial...just to let you know if you keep seeing a rooster in your office, or in your bedroom, or in the driveway, not to worry; it's just a harmless hallucination, compliments from Ambien CR !)

"If you drink alcohol," the commercial continues, "these behaviors may increase. Oh, and "allergic reactions such as shortness of breath, swelling of the tongue, or throat may occur".....and by the way......"in rare cases.......this may be fatal."

Not to mention, if you take this stuff, the commercial further warns,,,,"you might have dizziness, drowsiness and headache."

(I'm hooked....what? I'm asking....what did they just say? Now I've rewound the tape / DVR.)

There she is....while the voice over is talking about the rotten day you are about to have....you'll probably be dizzy and have a splitting headache, honey.....there she is....the little Ambien gal, waking up to her little sunshiney room, in her cute little pink nightie, and her sassy, wavy bright red hair, smiling and stretching her arms, and oh so pleased with herself for having that great night's sleep. The commercial goes on to warn that if she was depressed, when she takes Ambien CR, she might "become suicidal".....well, that's a small price to pay for that 'good night's sleep', isn't it?

Last, but not in the least bit least, the commercial finally warns, "If you experience any of these behaviors or reactions, contact your doctor immediately."

Wasn't one of the possible behaviors or reactions.........death?

Be sure and contact your doctor immediately, if you have that one!!!

Like Bill Engvall says, "Here's your sign."

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Cow Chip Boogie Motorcycle Fest

Recently I had one really great time / experience. Some motorcycle riding friends in the CMA invited me and some of the "boys", our musicians at church (two guitarists, a bassman and our drummer, all of whom have some fine licks to offer) to head up to Castle Rock, Washington to sing for the Sunday morning Christian service at this THANG called the Cow Chip Boogie. We heard it's one of the biggest motorcycle rally/parties in the Northwest. Well there was every kind of motorcycle rider there you can imagine...and they'd all been up the night before until 3 am & more, partying!

The place had a HUGE, covered, fantastic stage, concrete floor covered with a buncha oriental carpets, MEGA amps - way taller than twice or thrice of me - and they said we could use their sound system ! There had been a rock n' roll/metal group playing the night before; in fact, one of them was still on the stage in a sleeping bag, uhhh sleeping it off. ;o) Oh my word! The amps were so powerful they kept setting my car alarm (which car I had parked about 20 ft or so from the stage) off ! I finally figured out what was causing my car alarm to go off repeatedly, and moved the car up the hill!!

Well I have some gospel blues singin' to offer and we had some fine tunes to dress up a Sunday morning service at a motorcycle fest, believe you me! I have one the Lord gave me called "Look For Me, Jesus -- I believe I'll make it home!" We tore it up and had a great time....even if I did have to get up at 4 a.m. to make it up there in time for a 9 a.m. service. I'd do it again in a hot minute.

When we were all the way done, the sound man came up to me and told me more than once I had a beautiful voice. Wow! Hard to stay humble when you receive praise you just didn't expect. I just PRAY that someone heard the message that God DELIVERS!!!!!"

Have you ever heard of Jeff Fenholt? He was on broadway in Jesus Christ Superstar, and sang for a time with Black Sabbath, went thru some hellish times, and then got "born again." He is an awesome, very very down to earth man with some stories that make your hair stand on end. Well, I was on the praise team last Sunday and he was at our church last Sunday as a guest speaker,,,,and after the song service, when he was speaking to the congregation, he lifted his arm and pointed at me, and said...."Great worship service this a.m.....and you, you have a great voice!" Then in the evening service he was in the foyer and asked me if I was going to be on the platform again. When I told him 'no, not tonite',,,,he said he was disappointed, and that he wished I was, and said that I had a great voice...again.

Ok....I gotta tell you, I'll enjoy those two compliments for the rest of my life. Made me smile real big! I love to sing. And I love to bring the dynamic the music calls for to the song!  I love to give the gift He gave to me,,,,back to Him.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Oh brother! ...they coulda taken me away.....

Finally! I have a story to post on my blog.

First of all, my friend, Carol, says it seems like everyone is on edge these days,,,,just plain like...ready to be mad about something and don't even know what.

I think she's right.

And as it turns out, I'm no bloody exception.

Sooooooo.....yesterday, I took Carol and her little dachshund out to Gresham as she was flying out today to go visit her family in southern Cal and little Cooper was staying with friends. I needed to get some gas, and asked Carol where there was a gas station on the way back down Powell. She knew of only one and we pulled in.

I got out of the car to give the attendant, a (ok I KNOW I am going to get in trouble here,,,,but I HAVE to describe the situation IN DETAIL so you can picture it....ok?) thin, Asian fellow with a tan ball-cap on, my locking gas-cap key. When I did, he asked me "Card, or cash?" I don't really care for these stations where you have to go inside to pay, so I usually avoid them. I answered, "uhhhh," as I took a second or two to register that this, indeed, was one of those stations. And while I took that second or two, maybe three, this fellow...just grabs the hose, puts it in my car, turns on the gas, and simply walks away, without waiting for my answer. I was bewildered and questioning..."What just happened?"

I thought, "hmmmmm, maybe I'm just supposed to put the card in myself, like at Costco." I started to put my card in the card reader, and he walked back over towards me, and said, "You have to go inside and pay." I looked at the guy, and said, "You didn't wait for my answer." He said, "What do you want me to do now?" Then he walked away again. How rude, I thought. This guy is really rude.

Well, I went inside and approached the counter. Ok. Again, I have to say this just to give a complete description of what happened. At the counter was an Asian woman. I said, "I'm really really irritated at your man out there. He asked me whether I wanted to pay by card or cash, then he just walks away and doesn't wait for my answer. He was also very rude." She just looked at me, took my card and ran the sale. Everyone was acting like nothing I had to say about anything was even being heard. I got even MORE irritated. Then, I looked down at the counter, and there were these caramels sitting in a little box. You know the kind. Those little "home made" caramels with the twisty wax paper wrapping? Those are the ones. Well.....oh Lord, forgive me.....I reached into the box, took out a caramel, and said, "You know what? I'm taking this caramel for how irritated I am!" And I walked out. I got in my car, turned to see the thin Asian man with the ball-cap walking very briskly across the area towards my car, yelling at me all the while. "You can't do that! You can't do that!" Oh I was really fired up by now! I opened my window and THREW the caramel at him, hit him right in the chest with it,,,,,and said, "You're a PUNK!" To which the thin Asian man with the ball cap retorted, "And you're a thief!"

When I told this story to my daughter later, she said, "Oh my god, Mom, what did you do then?" I said, "I peeled on out of there."